To teach our children how to refuse drugs we have to tell them the truth. To get our child or teenager or young adult to listen to us, parents, and believe what we have to tell them, we have to be trusted by them. Nowadays they are bombarded by contradictory pieces of information through advertising, media and so on. So why would our child listen to us and what is more, believe us?
Firstly, secondly and thirdly, I would say without fear of error that our point is enhanced by our love. A mother's love cannot be destroyed, nor perish, nor be weary, nor bought. But this love undergoes trials that we have to face. The test of doubt and our teenagers questioning truth is not a source of tranquility. Never mind, love conquers all!
There is a secure path that has to be taken from early childhood, that is the way of example, of truth and education. This way of thinking allows us to guide them to become responsible adults.
If our children have a solid foundation they can build on it. First of all, they must trust their parents. To achieve this, we must not tell them lies. We must find out the truth about drugs before trying to talk with them about it. It is better to acknowledge our ignorance instead of reporting something that is untrue.
If our child lies to us, we show him why it is not good, we explain it and we forgive him. If he does it again, we say, he's doing it again! Then we explain it to him and we forgive him again, until he understands and he stops. If we lie to our child, he will lose his confidence in us. He will feel there is a crack in the foundations. If we are mistaken, let us admit it and fix it. But we must never lie to our children. A mother or father should be a corner stone on which their child can lean.
The philosophy of Enfance Sans Drogue is that, as Guy Gilbert says, parents are best placed to be involved with their children.
Let us teach them how to look at things by themselves and how to distinguish truth from fiction, good from bad. With our help, they must learn how to observe things and analyze them. Let us not be mistaken, there is no pill, no new molecule, no miracle treatment to replace drugs, to stop them or to help one live without them. What is worse, nowadays the fashion is to make us "enter" our child's brain to see how he reacts to drugs, why he has withdrawal symptoms, why he does not study anymore. Let us not get abused! After taking drugs the body is sick and the means to get everything back in order is: complete abstinence.
When our child recites a poem for us and says he loves us; when our child has successfully passed an exam, we do not care about knowing which part of his brain is active, nor whether his blood pressure is different when he tells us the news.
If a child takes drugs, he does not work anymore, he does not get up in the morning anymore, he steals, he lies, he is sick, he beats his mother, he does not have goodwill and ends up losing his self-esteem. That is what I see.
If he stops taking drugs, illegal or legal, he will recover his humanity, he will think with his heart. Once more he will have the urge to help, to love others, to follow through projects, be animated about doing apostolic or social activities. That is what I see.
In France and everywhere in the world, there are places where lay or religious people who have not studied medicine, save and have saved thousands of young people who were said to be schizophrenic, lost, weak, ready to commit suicide, ready to let themselves die. In those places, drugs are replaced by love. A true love, selfless and freely given. That is also what I see.
The French poet Beaudelaire, who was not a medical doctor, wrote in 1838 that cannabis was a weapon to commit suicide. We can all report that nothing has changed. When a person feels like committing suicide, the first question to ask is: what legal or illegal drugs does he take? All drugs lead to depression and suicide.
If you have children at home, you can teach them how to refuse drugs by example, truth and education. But to teach something you have to be trained. We have to be taught ourselves otherwise we lack the truth.
I have been crying, praying, fasting, shouting at God, but nobody can console me over the all too numerous once beautiful and intelligent adolescents for whom I arrived too late ...
During my seminars with 250 000 young people throughout France, I have witnessed how little they knew about drugs, even those who tried drugs and thought they knew. We have witnessed how many of them, having received our information about drugs stopped their consumption, be it regular or irregular, and began studying again. For almost all of them, it would be enough to teach them the truth about drugs and to let them go, saying to them: To you my daughter, my son, open your eyes, help those who need it, I love you and I trust you. The work is easier than you think for I have never met a drug-addict who is happy.
Member Organization of Make Mothers Matter, granted General Consultative Status by the United Nations.